


Silence

by casandraderolo



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jakey D has so issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, the d in jakey d stands for depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 09:49:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casandraderolo/pseuds/casandraderolo
Summary: The silence is too loud for Jake to handle





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I wrote something that wasn't Rich

Silence.

God did Jake hate the silence.

He wasn't used to it and it made him anxious.

He was used to the noise of the city, and falling asleep to the sounds of a busy highway and the sounds of his parents shuffling papers and the clicking keyboards.

 

God he hated this silence.

 

The silence made him think of _bad bad bad bad_ thoughts that made him want to do _horrible horrible horrible horrible_ things.

 

The silence made him think of the silence the day he woke up to find his parents gone.

 

The silence made him think of all the money that sat in a bank account that shouldn't belong to him but does.

 

The silence makes him think.

 

The silence brings out the intrusive thoughts.

 

The intrusive thoughts that tell him to climb to the roof and jump.

 

The intrusive thoughts that tell him to overdose on all the drugs he was pretty sure was still hidden under the floorboards of the basement.

 

The intrusive thoughts that tell him to crash his car every time he drives home.

 

The intrusive thoughts that tell him to slit his wrists and leave his body for someone -most like Rich, as morbid and trauma inducing as it sounds- to find.

 

The intrusive thoughts that drive him to drink them away.

 

The intrusive thoughts that make him drink them away and say _horrid_ things and make him do _disgusting, horrible, dirty_ things that make him want to throw up when he finally sobers up.

 

The silence brings out the _bad bad bad bad_ thoughts and makes him do _horrible horrible horrible horrible_ things.

 

Yeah the silence is definitely gonna kill him someday.

 

Maybe then he won't hear it any more.

  
Maybe then, he won't hear the silence

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr  
> [main](http://callme-jakey.tumblr.com/)   
> [bmc side](https://transjakobdillinger.tumblr.com/)


End file.
